Stress
It is no good to be stressed all the time, and I know that. It is just hard not to be stressed most of the time. My main sources of the stress are home life, and a bit of the work life. It can be stressful at work, at least when it is a busy day, and nothing is done. If nothing is done before close, I usually have to try to rush myself in order to get the closing done in a timely manner. This can be difficult on a busy day, when there is a line out the door. Sometimes, when it is busy, there will be a short slow down time of maybe ten minutes, to thirty minutes. Doing those break bursts, I quickly try to stock what has to be stocked, and try to pre close what I can. I love it more when it is a steady day... not too fast, and not too slow. When it is steady, I can get things done in a timely manner, and I still have other things to do by the time the primary pre closing is done. It also helps to have a person who is willing to help the closer with pre closing duties. Usually, there will be a second register person that also has to close dining room. I will have that person around until at least seven or eight at night. That helps a lot when it is a steady day. When it is a busy day, it can get a bit more difficult. On the weekends, there will be the dining room closer, plus a person scheduled until at least six thirty or seven. Some days it works out, and on other days, it will just be too busy to get things done.
With home life, my stress mainly comes from dealing with my mother, and my nephews, and trying to get a decent schedule where I get enough sleep, while also waking up in a timely manner to get the first nephew up for school, and clean the house a bit before my mother gets home. The sleeping part does not go so well. My cat will usually wake me up around five-thirty in the morning, along with my brother's cat just to be fed breakfast. Then, as I try to fall asleep, I will get woken again at around eight to wake up my nephew, and then most of the time my mother will wake me up to remind me what has to be done around the house, even though I know what has to be done around the house. By the time I really wake up, I am cranky, and not looking forward to the day ahead.
Now, my mother and I sometimes clash. I noticed that when she is in an angry mood, she will criticize me a lot more, criticize my relationship with my husband, and hounding me with repeated questions of why I cannot move to England sooner. Believe me, if it was any easier to be together with my husband, and if immigration was just a matter of proving that I have a genuine relationship with my husband, and a simple show of the marriage certificate, I would move there in a heartbeat! Immigration, however is not that simple. There are many hoops that both my husband and I have to go through before we start with the visa application process. My husband has to prove that he will be able to financially support me. The minimum that the UK set for this is eighteen thousand six hundred pounds. My husband has to get a job that will give him a yearly salary of that amount. Now, when he does get a job that will give him a yearly salary of that amount, he has to be working at that job for at least six months, so he can provide the pay slips needed, to show how much he makes. If it is less than that required amount, my application for my spouse visa could be refused. In addition to the financial requirement, I have to provide evidence that my husband and I are in a real relationship. This evidence can be photo evidence, the certificate, call logs, im logs, etc. At least I have all my im logs saved to my computers, so that will not be a problem. Plus, we have a good amount of pictures together.
Once I apply for the visa, all my husband and I can do is wait. We are setting a goal for me to make the move by summer of 2016, but both him and I know that it is not an official guarantee that it will happen by then. It is just something for us to be hopeful about.
When my mom rags on about my husband and I not living together yet, all I can do is stay silent, and try not to engage. So far, that seems to kind of work for me, but also makes me stressed as hell, because I do not like hearing her criticize me, or my husband for that matter. I know he is doing the best he can, and I know that this sort of thing takes time. My mother however, does not understand that this process can take a long time, and that there are couples there who have been separated for a longer period of time. I wish there was some way for her to understand this is not an easy thing to go through. It is probably the reason why I do not like sharing any aspects up my relationship to her. I'd rather confide in close friends, and my younger brother, than my mother when I want to talk about my relationship. There was never a time where she showed any real support for my relationship with my husband. Just today, she was saying how she wished that I went out with one of my best friend's guy friend who had a crush on me, saying that it would be so much better, and easier. To me, it is like a slap in the face. It just infuriates me, and makes me think that she has no respect for my relationship with my husband. It seems like at times, she is too close minded to understand a long distance relationship.
At least writing helps with my stress a bit. This was all just basically things that I had to get off of my chest, things that would not go away in my mind. I feel a bit better now.
With home life, my stress mainly comes from dealing with my mother, and my nephews, and trying to get a decent schedule where I get enough sleep, while also waking up in a timely manner to get the first nephew up for school, and clean the house a bit before my mother gets home. The sleeping part does not go so well. My cat will usually wake me up around five-thirty in the morning, along with my brother's cat just to be fed breakfast. Then, as I try to fall asleep, I will get woken again at around eight to wake up my nephew, and then most of the time my mother will wake me up to remind me what has to be done around the house, even though I know what has to be done around the house. By the time I really wake up, I am cranky, and not looking forward to the day ahead.
Now, my mother and I sometimes clash. I noticed that when she is in an angry mood, she will criticize me a lot more, criticize my relationship with my husband, and hounding me with repeated questions of why I cannot move to England sooner. Believe me, if it was any easier to be together with my husband, and if immigration was just a matter of proving that I have a genuine relationship with my husband, and a simple show of the marriage certificate, I would move there in a heartbeat! Immigration, however is not that simple. There are many hoops that both my husband and I have to go through before we start with the visa application process. My husband has to prove that he will be able to financially support me. The minimum that the UK set for this is eighteen thousand six hundred pounds. My husband has to get a job that will give him a yearly salary of that amount. Now, when he does get a job that will give him a yearly salary of that amount, he has to be working at that job for at least six months, so he can provide the pay slips needed, to show how much he makes. If it is less than that required amount, my application for my spouse visa could be refused. In addition to the financial requirement, I have to provide evidence that my husband and I are in a real relationship. This evidence can be photo evidence, the certificate, call logs, im logs, etc. At least I have all my im logs saved to my computers, so that will not be a problem. Plus, we have a good amount of pictures together.
Once I apply for the visa, all my husband and I can do is wait. We are setting a goal for me to make the move by summer of 2016, but both him and I know that it is not an official guarantee that it will happen by then. It is just something for us to be hopeful about.
When my mom rags on about my husband and I not living together yet, all I can do is stay silent, and try not to engage. So far, that seems to kind of work for me, but also makes me stressed as hell, because I do not like hearing her criticize me, or my husband for that matter. I know he is doing the best he can, and I know that this sort of thing takes time. My mother however, does not understand that this process can take a long time, and that there are couples there who have been separated for a longer period of time. I wish there was some way for her to understand this is not an easy thing to go through. It is probably the reason why I do not like sharing any aspects up my relationship to her. I'd rather confide in close friends, and my younger brother, than my mother when I want to talk about my relationship. There was never a time where she showed any real support for my relationship with my husband. Just today, she was saying how she wished that I went out with one of my best friend's guy friend who had a crush on me, saying that it would be so much better, and easier. To me, it is like a slap in the face. It just infuriates me, and makes me think that she has no respect for my relationship with my husband. It seems like at times, she is too close minded to understand a long distance relationship.
At least writing helps with my stress a bit. This was all just basically things that I had to get off of my chest, things that would not go away in my mind. I feel a bit better now.
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