Sleepless Nights, and Running Thoughts

I detest it when I am not able to sleep at night because of my running thoughts. The thoughts about the distance, and worrying about getting the green card process started to V never seem to end...

I want everything to go well in January. I hope that everything will go well, and that I have all the forms and proof needed to prove that my hubby and I have a real relationship. Hell, there are a lot of photos of us together, and millions of various convos from Skype that I could probably send in. However, I need to figure out how to get all that proof sorted an organized, so that it is easier for the people who are going to be looking over it.

I hope that the process will be quick, and that V will be able to get his card by September. That way, he does not have to go back to England after he attends my Uncle's wedding. It would suck if he was still in the pending process... then he would have to wait over there.

I wish that it was easier. I know that this form filling and waiting is going to be a real stressor in the coming months. The worst part would be waiting, and fearing that the petition will be denied. However, I have to be strong, and have hope that my husband and I will finally be ending the distance by next year.

The distance is getting to me. I am missing my husband more than ever, and want him by my side permanently. I know I have to be strong, but sometimes, it is hard being strong.

Oh well, best try to get some sleep, if I can.

Comments

  1. UnknownDecember 17, 2013 at 3:53 PM

    Just read every post. I like your blog. Actually I remember reading one of your posts a yr ago but at the time I couldn't relate so much emotionally and brushed it off. At the time LD was new to me still and my feelings for him were not super strong yet. I think it was because we were still getting to know each other and there was no plan to end the distance at the time. After 2 yrs everything changed. I changed and my feelings for him got very VERY strong and I was beginning to get serious about my future with him. He's my first serious bf. I know he'll be my first... (never been kissed,etc.)

    I was in a LDR with someone else when I was 18. He lived in the U.K (He was 2 yrs younger than me). But he didn't show effort to close the distance. So I broke it off. Plus at the time I was dum and didn't knew better.

    Anyways, very interesting posts! There were moments I could relate to your feelings. I am in a long distance relationship. (2 years so far). We meet on a dating website. I remember how the other men on the site were messaging gross things to me and just cared about my physical appearance. But I will never forget what my bf messaged about my profile: "I think your profile is pleasantly perfect". lol. cheesy but it makes me smile when I think about it.

    He's now 27 and I am 23. He lives in Minnesota and I live in Florida. We'll meet for the first time in April 2014 and I am saving up for a ticket (I'm a caregiver) and my bf is saving up too. He's working so hard; going to school to have a great career to provide for us. We both want a family. I always said I wanted only 2 children and that's it! lol. He always said he's working hard to be closer to me. Next trimester he's going to take 20 credits and receive a B.A degree before the end of next yr.(Aug). Then he wants to go to graduate school to become a chiropractor. The goal is for us to end the distance before the end of 2014.

    But I can relate. Missing my bf, staying up till 3AM just to talk to him cause at the time he worked late at his previous job. I remember crying on my bed some nights and holding his hoodie for comfort. I thought many times moving to Minnesota because the north has better opportunities...plus I want to start fresh and be with him forever. I remember not being able to speak to him on Skype because his computer was messed up. For weeks I couldn't see his face and... I appreciate phone calls but it's not the same! Yeah there is a lot I can relate emotionally. And yes there were many men locally who tried to convince me that LDR won't work, etc, etc. A lot of people don't understand the commitment both people make in a LDR. I notice that a lot of people in LDR just give up easy once it becomes "to hard" too. There were many times I questioned my LDR but I love my bf SOOO much it's not even funny. There's something spiritual about holding on to someone you deeply love.

    Yup I'm blabbering a lot now. thanks for pouring out your thoughts.

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownDecember 25, 2013 at 11:39 PM

    Thank you for sharing your story, and your thoughts, Mary Peterson. I am sure you are looking forward to your first visit in April 2014. I love hearing about other peoples' stories, and experiences with ldrs, and online relationships. The great thing about the internet is that there is a community of people who are in ldrs/online relationships, and there as a support network. If you are ever interested, feel free to check out Loving From A Distance!

    I agree that there are a lot of people out there who don't realize the commitment and work it takes for both people involved in a LDR. It helps to have a network of people who will support you, and see you want to make everything work out.

    Always stay optimistic, and never, ever lose any hope! Enjoy all the talks, visits, and time you get to spend with your SO, whether it be virtually, visits, or working toward that goal of closing the distance.

    PS: I don't see it as blabbering, more so I see your comment as pouring out your own thoughts and story. Thank you again. :)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Laying In Bed

You know, sometimes laying in bed alone has me thinking about my LDR with V. I think about how much I miss him, and how I wish I could have him lying right beside me, holding me and kissing me on the neck. Laying in bed can sometimes feel like the loneliest time spent. At least when you're on skyping with your SO, and hearing his voice, or even just typing out messages, you do not feel so alone. Sometimes being apart in a LDR can suck. It is always a good thing to try to stay positive, however and that is what I am going to do. I am going to think about the good times we shared, when we were together. I am also going to think how we are going to be together again someday (hopefully in February.) The wait can be worth it. Once you see each other again, there is a tremendous amount of joy that fills your heart... A joy of seeing your beloved once again, reunited. You feel whole, and as one again. I yearn and ache for that feeling. I cannot wait to touch him, to feel his hair throu...
Read more

Merry Christmas... wait it is Boxing Day now!

It is funny how the holidays seem to fly by! Christmas this year was ok. I enjoyed watching my nephews opening up their presents, and the excitement in their expressive eyes as they unwrap their holiday surprise. I also loved the cookies that my mother bakes every year for Christmas. Her chocolate chip cookies are to die for! I just wish the husband was here to enjoy Christmas with me. It is weird not being with him during the holiday season, and I almost have a void inside my heart during this time of year. It can get especially troubling when seeing couples together on this special season, holding hands, and cuddling close to keep warm from the bitter cold as they walk down the street. Ah, no matter. At least there is hope of celebrating with him next year, and the year after that.  Speaking of which, I have to get his form started. I will start on that tomorrow, either before or after work. At least I've done all my research, although it never hurts to double, and tr...
Read more

Finally Changed My Last Name

Well, on Wednesday I went to the Social Security office to finally change my last name. I now feel like I am really his wife, and it feels great! Of course, we have been married for three years, and I felt like his wife then, but now, it feels more official in a way? Anyway, the card with my new last name should be arriving in two weeks. Then, I get to do the fun stuff, like notifying my work, bank, oh, and getting a new passport with the new last name. I think I am going to save the passport for last, since this year, I am in no rush to change it right away. Nope, there is not going to be any traveling to England from me, this year. Hopefully next year, when I travel to England, it will be for good. Work has been a bit more easy going for me, although I do wish that we closed at nine, instead of ten every day. I mean, sure, there is more time to prepare for closing, but I just do not like getting out at 11:00pm every night. It makes going to bed at a decent hour pretty difficult. I ...
Read more